2. Capture all chihuahuas and sell them to KFC.
3. Get rid of all band teachers.
4. Make Monkees and Bald Eagles national animals.
5. Secret word: Floydlaven
6. Walk like wierd animals.
7. Take out the shredded wheat plant.
8. Take over hawaii and convert it into a drive threw liguor store for boats.
9. Kick out foreigners.
10. Declare open season on dolphins and everything cute and not fuzzy.
11. Get even with everyone that was mean to you.
12. Shave Kelley's head and put Miracle Grow on it so she'll have a Chia Head.
13. Make allies with Pygmies and Guatemalans.
14. Burn all recordings of Duran Duran, Elvis, and Pat Benatar.
15. Burn all of Boy George's stuff too.
16. Raise an army of midgets (they'd be pretty hard to hit).
17. Have a bass boat navy: fast, effective, and you might get in some good fishing.
18. Kill those who don't know why Kurt Cobain killed himself.
19. Get pizza from Italy.
20. Kick inferiors in the butt.
21. Ship all fat women to Ethiopia and brand them with "eat me."
22. Get even with ex-girlfriends.
23. Call all ex-girlfriends lesbians, and spread rumors about their hairy moles and embarassing birthmarks.
24. Castrate all Potbellied pigs.
25. Scare all orientals to see if they can open their eyes wide.
26. Shit pack Mr. Miyagi.
27. Attack and kill all hamsters.
28. Rape and beat up Captain Kangaroo.
29. Kick the crap out of Mr. Rodgers and take his lunch money.
30. Kick Handy Man Nagery's ass too.
31. Find out how Mr. McFeely got his name.
32. Steal and distort government funds.
33. Dump the King's tea into Boston Harbor. (Wait, that's been done.)
34. Dump the Prince's tea into Blair's Valley lake. (Yeah, that's good.)
35. Make loud noises and scare young, unexpecting children.
36. Beat up kids on Halloween and steal their candy, then beat up their parents and take the kids.
37. Love thy family.
38. Love Jesus.
39. Love meatloaf, lasagna, and melted cheese.
40. Hang all nerds.
41. Everyone go to bed at 3 pm so we can watch all the good shows and be the only ones that know what happened at Melrose Place.
42. Give us 24 hour hall passes. Aw hell, just let us run the school.
43. Kill Hansel & Gretel.
44. Open bow season on old women and small children.
45. Shave fat womens' heads so they look like Ed Asner.
46. National Motto: The clown won't bite me and throw me in the basement.
47. National Food: Grits and sweet potato pie.
48. Find out what happened to Mr. Rodgers' goldfish.
49. Pay the trolley to run over Lady Fairchild because she's a bitch.
50. Learn why the castaways on Gilligan's Island had so many clothes on a three hour tour.
51. Make Roseanne do a strip tease for Bill Clinton.
52. Make all gooks smell one of Weaver's farts and stuff them in a refrigerator.
53. Make all faggots swallow razor blades, and then overdose them on Ex-Lax.
54. Stick your finger in an electric socket.
55. Make muskrats a protected creature.
56. National Anthem: Proud Mary by C.C.R..
57. Put ice cubes in Michael Jackson's underwear.
58. Feed suppositories to people on welfare.
59. Light a match.
60. Put it out.
61. Make J.R. Mills lick a flagpole in February.
62. Drag really old people behind a car naked.
63. Better than #51, have Klinger do a tease for Col. Potter.
64. Throw a ball.
65. Make Yasser Arafat and Yitzhak Rabin wear bikinis to their next summit.
66. Give Gorby some cleanser to get that nasty stain off of his head.
67.
69. Open season on the Easter Bunny.
70. Give old peoples' false teeth to gumless people in Burma.
71. Make monkeys legal U.S. citizens.
72. Make Richard Simmons run in place until he dies.
73. Kill Cap'n Crunch, and let the Soggies have their own cereal.
74. Give the Tooth Fairy steroids so she'll bust out everyone's teeth.
75. Befriend rabid leprechauns.
76. Create a full time wrestling channel between Sonny & Cher, and Simon & Garfunkel.
77. Watch old people shovel snow out of their driveways, and then throw it back on so they have to do it again.
78. Beat the crap out of Ray.
79. Take a zhit on the Zima guy.
80. Capture the Tidy Bowl man, cut off his arms and legs, and throw him in the toilet so he drowns.
81. Capture Free Willy, put him in captivity, and make him do tricks.
82. Convict Papa Smurf of assisting O.J. Simpson and sentence him to death.
83. Make incest the national pastime in West Virginia.
84. Start a love affair between Leona Helmsley and Barney.
85. Find out exactly what Grimace is.
86. Find some guy named Omar, pull out his nose hairs, and make him eat them.
87. Make Bill Clinton get a cheap haircut.
88. Give Lorena Bobbitt her own cooking show.
89. National Slogan: El queso es viejo y rancido. (The cheese is old and moldy)
90. Shoot down the Toilet Duck and shove up Oprah's ass to see if she says "quack quack."
91. Add another Power Ranger, the purple one. (Barney the dinosaur power)
92. Spread rumors that Mr. Hendricks molests smurfs.
93. Find out what the hell is in the bowl on the Cheer commercials.
94. Slip the Energizer Bunny acid.
95. Feed cats shrooms.
96. Vote Tony Little most likely to molest a wombat.
97. Steal Radar's bear and set it on fire.
98. Rape Miss Molly, and make her watch it in her stupid mirror.
99. Melt Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Or why not just melt Willy Wonka!
100. Lead all niggers to their death by throwing hubcaps, fried chicken, and watermelons off a cliff.
101. Make cheese puffs legal farmhands on potato farms in Idaho.
102. Beat the crap out of the guy behind us.
103. Find out why Weaver and Sites hang out so much.
104. Find out why Mr. Peckyno has a fascination with hamsters and all things fuzzy.
105. Find out why Barry Manilow is a dickhead and bangs goats and yhettis.
106. Find out why Baboons have red butts.
107. Make Forrest Gump an admiral in the navy.
108. Steal the elephant man's bones from Michael Jackson, and then make him chew on them.
109. Give Prozac to hummingbirds and watch them run into things.
110. Catch a yhetti, and make him drink vodka until he can't walk.
111. Open a live bait fishing store: Use cheetos and doritos to catch tuna. (we don't know, it just sounds like a good idea)
112. Interbreed a wombat and Chelsea Clinton to see what you get. (hint-another wombat)
113. Send Al Gore into space and use him as a satellite.
114. Five words: Roseanne vs. Jabba the Hut.
115. Make all monkeys wear turbans.
116. Find out if Bill Clinton is really Homer Simpson.
117. Go to a hospital, pretend to be a doctor, and go around telling old people that they are going to die.
118. While in the hospital, make unnecessary organ transplants.
119. Have Ross Perot get into an argument with Big Bird over tax increases.
120. Go to Disney World, set Space Mountain on fire, and make Goofy ride it.
121. Kidnap the Partridge family and hold them for ransom.
122. Go to a gym, wave Snickers bars in front of fat people, then eat the candy.
123. Find out once and for all just where the hell Waldo is.
124. Feed hungry Ethiopians dog crap and sheep testicles. Tell them it's chocolate with almonds.
125. Outlaw male gymnastics and figure skating under penalty of death.
126. Eat the president's cat.
127. Steal a cropduster, fly over a preschool and spray dangerous chemicals on the small children playing on the jungle gym.
128. Kill penguins. (they get on our nerves)
129. Shave the head of Billy Ray Cyrus, and give the hair to Mr. Simcox to he can go to Mr. Ray's.
130. Get The Hansons!
131. Put Regis Philbin on steroids.
132. Turn Porky pig into bacon.
133. Give psychopaths really sharp scissors to cut paper with.
134. Transform ourselves into cars.
135. Smoke tea!
136. Go to a friend's house, drop eating utensils into his toilet, and flush it 100 times while screaming, "chew shit! chew shit!"
137. Make Mike Tyson fight all of the characters on Sesame Street.
138. Immaculate the homo sapien in the y-intercept course, gaze upon the horriffic sight of a cornucopia of pure terror from which the meaning of life may be derived and ascertained. (push an chimpanzee out of a plane and laugh)
139. Share Herpes with others.
140. Kill Billy Ray Cyrus.
141. Arrange a fight between Freddy and Edward Scissorhands.
142. Kill Billy Ray again.
143. Try to come up with the next step.
144. Come up with step 144.
145. Write it down.
146. Piss in a cup and pour it on your head, screaming, "MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!!"
147. Make the body of Madonna a legal U.S. biohazard.
148. Fry green tomatoes.
149. Send Meatloaf into Hell to see if he really can come back.
150. Capture Paul Schaeffer and let a buzzard peck his eyes out.
151. See if pro-surfers can surf on clouds too.
152. Punish people on death row by making them listen to Barry Manilow. (WOW! it rhymes.)
153. Conduct a scientific experiment on whether manic depressives beg for their lives when they are thrown into a tiger cage.
154. Find out what niggers like the most, watermelon, fried chicken, sweet potato pie, or maybe even cotton.
155. Sell a blind man a blind guide dog.
156. Hook a blind man's dog leash to a bus and watch the man go around the block.
157. Let the blind man drive the bus.
158. Put a mute man on the radio.
159. When the blind man is on a blind date, make the girl walk in circles around him so he doesn't know where she is.
160. Keep the blind man in poor spirits by saying every five minutes, "Did you see that?"
161. Make flying monkeys U.S. citizens. (monkeys are people too)
162. Let stupid architects build a moon base.
163. Blow up the moon base.
164. Make the guy from Aerosmith wear a shirt.
165. Destroy all vegetation except for crabgrass.
166. Get Mr. B clothes that match.
167. Make Peckyno marry a Swedish masseuse.
168. See how fast Mr. Snyder can run by driving a Twinkie truck past and seeing how fast he chases it.
169. Throw a grenade into Mr. Hutson's room, yell "Fire in the hole!" and watch him piss himself.
170. Shave Robin William's butt!!!!
171. Wrestling match between Mr. Clean and Mr. Michelin Tire guy.
172. Take out Clinton's glass eye and go bowling with it, and then tell him to stop saying, "Wyan Wyan Wyan."
173. Tell dead people to shut the hell up.
174. Spread rumors that "Gorillas in the Mist" was really a love story between Nell Carter an Bob Packwood.
175. Have Lamb Chop for dinner.
176. Find out what that humming sound is in Ms. Dorsey's desk.
177. Take a picture of Basore choking on his chicken, and send it to America's Funniest Home Videos and win $10,000. And use Ryan's broken camera.
178. Drown your goldfish.
179. Beat up Martha and take her vineyard.
180. Vegetarians eat vegetables, beware humanitarians.
181. Hijack a ship and steal grapes.
182. Set your hair on fire and do somersaults while chanting, "Mekka Lekka Hi Mekka Hinee Ho."
183. Strap a parachute to a monkey, throw him from a plane, and see if he has sense enough to pull the ripcord.
184. Put a bag over Clinton's head and see if he has the sense to struggle.
185. Steal Mr. Peckyno's Lucky Charms and hold them for ransom.
186. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
187. Find out why: If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?
188. Remember, he who goes to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
189. Never question a man who can pierce his own nipples.
190. Find out why they call it taking a dump when you don't take it anywhere, we hope.
191. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
192. Throw a pan into Mr. Hutson's room, yell "Grease Fire!!" and watch him douse his room with baking soda.
193. Make "Guns of Steel win the Oscar for corniest picture.
194. Buy Mr. Hendricks lots of grapes.
195. Set Mrs. Mack on fire, write her a referral, send her to ISS, and tell her that she's too loud, isn't doing any work, and that you think it's a reasonable request.
196. Set the world record for the highest pile of dog crap by entering Howard Stern into the Guiness Book.
197. If you're tired of these stupid instructions, hop on one foot, and chant, "I'm a horse's father's, owner's, wife's, cousin's, aunt's, brother's, neighbor's, stepson's, biological father's, dog's blow up doll." All while whistling the Andy Griffith theme, picking your nose, and doing the backstroke in the shit pit back at the farm.
198. National Plant: Marijuana.
199. Make rubber bands official currency in places like the isle of Yap.
200. Ignore all of our instructions.
201. Repeat steps 1-200.
201 & 1/2. Jump off a cliff and...